Man and woman stuff

Today I asked a guy what would he choose between a perfect pretty, smart and kind woman and an imperfect one but after answering shallowly that all people are imperfect, at the end of the message he said that he's not good at this man and woman stuff. After I smiled, I got angry.
These "stuff" are the most important thing in life. This is what makes possible for us to live. Can we live on this planet if there aren't any people? I can't and I guess nobody can. The relationships we make weather it's with a man or a woman... this is what we live for. Can we live only for our work or career, being lonely? Ok, let's say that all your life all you care about is your career and then what? When you'll be sixty, old and sick and alone in a house with nobody to look at you or hold your hand or keep you company, nobody to love and nobody that loves you. Is this the dream you want? Is this the perfect life that everyone should aspire? I better not live than live like this. I want to have grandchildren, I want to go on vacations with my husband, I want a white wedding dress and to give birth... I don't want to be lonely.
So these "stuff" for me are the most important thing in life, that's why I got angry at a boy fer not knowing how to set his priorities. Now that I think of it I'm kind of funny to get angry at him for that.
People better realize this soon: you need friends, family and you need love more than anything in order to find happiness in this kind of world.

Green

A green piece of paper, another song that's too loud.
My soulmate's name starts with an "E". I believe this is fate telling me not to give up and believe. My soulmate sings. He has the most beautiful voice I've ever heard and when he sings he seems so peaceful, just as pure and innocent as a child. When he smiles I'm more afraid than I've ever been in my life. I'm afraid I might not see this smile ever again.
My soulmate often takes my hand and starts running out of nowhere. He's running with me towards happiness. My soulmate can read my mind. He knows what I feel, he knows I don't like animals but I'm not mean to them, he knows I like surprises and cool guys, he likes my body because I'm not too thin and I'm healthy, he loves my eyes and always looks straight into them.
My soulmate can sing only for me because his soul requires it, because his voice and hands can only perform for this girl, because he will never be happy doing it for anybody else.
My soulmate's name starts with an "E". I wish I could find you.. I wish you would appear in front of me right now.

Grey

Next stage, a grey piece of paper, a new movie, a new story, a new man. Do I have to try loving all the men in order to find the one that's meant for me? Is it that hard to find him? Where are you? Where is the man that makes my heart freeze, that sings only for me, that looks closely into my eyes and sees the true me? Can I be happy like this, settling for an average me?
I can only be truly happy if I can hear you sing for me. Only if you sing I can hear your heart calling me so please please SING! I keep on waiting in this room, with orange sheets and curtains, with a man standing in front of me, ignoring me, torturing me. Can you hear me? I hope with all my heart, I pray that you can hear my soul crying to find and rescue me.
There is a song I heard in one of the dramas I was watching, it's called "Fly me to the moon". In what world can people love like this? In what world can I obtain happiness? Is it this one or the one next to it? Do I have to wish I was beautiful or very smart or have the kindest heart? Do I have to be all this to be loved and find love? Is this world even suited for me? Is my soulmate in this world?

Blue

Blue is for luck, good luck.
The people that you meet and the relationships you make are your good luck. Some are very lucky to find love through luck. How can anyone be more lucky than this? Am I lucky enough to be successful and have everything I want or am i lucky enough to find love? So far neither of them is working for me :)
In fact, being successful is another method in finding happiness and love. If I am successful I can become prettier and I can search for him better. I can travel and ask much more people if they have seen my soulmate. If I can have everything I want maybe that person can look at me, can sing for me and smile at me. Maybe that boy will fall in love with me, maybe like this I can have a happy ending. So this means that I am not greedy, right? I don't want money, I just want his songs and smile. I wonder what I would give for my soulmate's song. The only thing I've wanted my whole life has been to meet the one I'm destined for. This was my dream from the beginning and the only dream that I've fought for with all my power. What would you give?
If I could meet my soulmate just once, hear his song or see him smile at me just once ... I would give all my memories. Yes, my memories of my mother, my brother and even my little memories of my sister, fragments of pictures of her beautiful smile, my memories of friends and lovers that helped me so much. My most precious thing I own. It's only fair that for such a precious thing I should exchange something equally important.
I wonder what would others exchange. What is the most precious thing for others and what would they sacrifice for true love?

Turquoise

A color that needs other colors

I have to start from somewhere or else I might as well just die tomorrow because I have nothing else better to do then to sit and wait. This continuous waiting is slowly killing my soul and my youth.
I am not the person that doesn't care what others say or think about me. I care a lot but I have to do this in order to make myself heard. I have to make him hear me and my shout. I decided to post everything I wrote on a blog. writing these letters for him, never knowing where to send them.. it's painful.
I hope you don't judge me but understand that for me, finding him is the only purpose in life that's worth fighting for.
Here is the first letter for my soulmate:


" Today I heard whispers in my ear telling me to never leave and to love him forever but I couldn't say anything. He told me that I'm his soulmate and my heart couldn't bear to hurt him. I wanted to say that I don't feel this way, that I'm not happy but grateful, that I want to leave but don't have anywhere else to go. In the end I couldn't say anything so I closed my eyes so I don't start crying.
Each day without you seems like I'm older and older and I will die next week and not be able to hold your hand. I wonder what's worse, having you but being constantly afraid that I'll lose you or being afraid that I'll never meet you? Either way I'll always be afraid of something and it will never be perfect. At least I know this.
My aunt told me this week that soulmates are opposite beings and that because we are so different there is a balance. Just like a man that pulls a rope to the right and a woman to the left. When the rope is pulled by both it is in a perfect balance, never touching the ground. It kind of makes sense. It's much more interesting to have a man that's different from you, teaching you how he sees the world, his views and ways. We can both teach each other many things.
You are different from me aren't you? I hope you are! I hope you are not like the man that stands once again in front of me. Him and I are so alike and yet every day with him feels the same. I wanted to teach him so many times ways that he can love me. I tried to teach him but he failed every time. Are you mad because I tried to replace you? I thought I have the responsibility to try and teach him how to truly love. I owed that to him because he gave me so much and I couldn't give him my heart.
I guess it's a sign that he's not my soulmate. I am still waiting for you to appear in front of the door with a cute hat and your funny looking hairstyle wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, smiling at me. Why can't you say "foolish girl" and pull me towards you, hugging me 'till I can't breath?
How long must I still wait for that hug? "